By Mickey Friedman
May 25, 2018
You can’t make this stuff up. Which is a burden for writers, because we make things up and hope it’s believable. But today unbelievable is everywhere. Imagine what it’s like for comedians who are supposed make fun of the absurd things in life at a time when everything is more than absurd.
Like if ten years ago I told you the head of the Environmental Protection Agency, whose job it is to make sure the water is clean and the air can be breathed, to make sure fish can swim and birds can fly needed 3 million bucks for a 20 man, 24 hours a day security team to protect him from angry fish because he’s let polluters pollute even more than they used to.
And needs bullet proof seat covers on his SUV cause angry birds can …
That Ryan Zinke, our Make America Great Again Secretary of the Interior, forces his employees to fly a special flag when he’s in the building.
Stand-up comedy is like a bullfight where the bull isn’t killed but merely embarrassed, maybe humiliated a bit. And audiences are often made to squirm. And believe me Michelle Wolf’s routine before the White House Correspondents Dinner made me squirm.
But as far as I’m concerned Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders wouldn’t know the truth if it bit her. I watch her day after day – and appreciate that the dark eyeshadow above and below her eyes makes her seem even more authoritative, but Michelle Wolf in a squirmy way nailed it when she told everyone: “I actually really like Sarah. I think she’s very resourceful. She burns facts, and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smoky eye. Like maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s lies. It’s probably lies.”
Lots of folks threw Michelle Wolf under the bus for doing what everyone knew she’d be doing: making us laugh while we might have wanted to cry. Will Shakespeare, who did OK in the writing department, made sure he kept a Fool handy. To tell jokes, to sing and dance, and generally provide some well-needed puncturing of the pomposity. Because there are always those who puff themselves up, try to control us or take us to war, or pick our pockets while telling us how much they care. You always need a Fool or two to remind us that they are generally full of it.
Michelle Wolf tried to do just that. Unfortunately, an event that should really be about honoring the brave journalists who tell the stories the powerful don’t want told has sadly turned into an event that’s about dressing up and drinking and pal-ing around with the public officials the press needs to cover not covet.
An equal opportunity comic, Michelle Wolf, did her job by poking fun at Republicans and Democrats and politicos and self-righteous press people alike.
It’s not like she didn’t warn them immediately after the fish course: “Just a reminder to everyone, I’m here to make jokes, I have no agenda, I’m not trying to get anything accomplished. So everyone that’s here from Congress, you should feel right at home.”
Then came curse words and sexual innuendoes and some downright raunchiness. But given a President who has routinely cheated on a pregnant wife with porn stars and bragged about his ability to grab any and every pussycat, isn’t this a case of don’t say what I do?
As for the Dems: “It is kind of crazy that the Trump campaign was in contact with Russia when the Hillary campaign wasn’t even in contact with Michigan. It’s a direct flight; it’s so close.”
Of course, #metoo and #neveragain has changed everything: “Trump is a racist though. He loves white nationalists, which is a weird term for a Nazi. Calling a Nazi a white nationalist is like calling a pedophile a kid friend, or Harvey Weinstein a ladies’ man …”
And “Trump’s also an ideas guy, he’s got loads of ideas, you’ve got to love him for that. He wants to give teachers guns, and I support that because then they can sell them for things they need, like supplies.”
As for the press: “You guys are obsessed with Trump. Did you used to date him? Because you pretend like you hate him, but I think you love him. I think what no one in this room wants to admit is that Trump has helped all of you. He couldn’t sell steaks or vodka or water or college or ties or Eric, but he has helped you. He’s helped you sell your papers and your books and your TV. You helped create this monster, and now you’re profiting off of him …”
Then reminding us: “Flint still doesn’t have clean water.”
Michelle Wolf helps us remember that one man’s AK-15 is a whole lot of school supplies.
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“A Whole Lot of School Supplies” was first published in the May 4, 2018 edition of the Berkshire Record.