JoJo, Jordan, and the Climate Crisis

August 29, 2016
By Mickey Friedman

One of the problems of living in such a sophisticated community is that there aren’t many folks I can talk to about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and during the summer, Bachelor in Paradise. Any attempt to raise the issues of whether or not Chad should have been evicted from Paradise evicts moans and groans and many a head shake. Sadly, many in this land of almond milk lattes, regard my interest in JoJo and Jordan as a particularly pathetic illness, a sign of approaching dementia.

Television like this, especially because it is so very popular in the American heartland, is regarded as the lowest of the low-picking fruit. Nevertheless, the finale of the Bachelorette tied with America’s Got Talent with adults 18-49 after NBC’s coverage of the Olympics.

So many of you might not know that JoJo Fletcher, this season’s Bachelorette and last season’s broken-hearted Bachelor runner-up, chose Green Bay Packer all-star quarterback Aaron Rodgers’ younger brother, Jordan, a far-less talented quarterback, and blessed him with her final rose. Jordan, who is obviously on a roll, recently scored a gig with ESPN, commentating about college football. Success and more success. Instant pudding-like love, a sparkling diamond, and more on-air time.

But not everything is perfect in Bachelorette-ville because much to our consternation, we learned along the way, that sadly Jordan’s brother, Aaron and young Jordan don’t talk to each other.

I’m guessing here but it’s probably especially true about the climate crisis. Because, in fact, not JoJo nor a single contestant looking for love this season took a moment to notice LA burning, the temperatures soaring, the seas rising or the ice melting. But, really, who can blame them when there were free drinks, international travel, and so much mooning and spooning and the magnificent opportunity to pop magnificent JoJo the question.

Now I didn’t mean to distract you with news of the planet when I’m sure you’re still wondering what’s up with Aaron Rodgers and whether or not this family crisis will help or hurt the New England Patriots. While ABC wouldn’t exactly come right out and say so, educated guessers in the TwitterSphere seem to suggest the trouble in RodgersTown began when Olivia Munn, the accomplished actress who dates Aaron indiscreetly revealed on TV that she and Aaron don’t have sex before the big game. Which as true blue American football lovers know so well is every game during the National Football League season. And what true blue American family wants their unauthorized family secrets aired on national TV? Especially when they are in the midst of watching their youngest son trying to prove he is trustworthy and loyal and not your usual run-of-the-mill male betrayer while groping a gorgeous brunette for the amusement of millions of American households. Who said life was easy in the fast lane?

And if it wasn’t X-Men Apocalypse Olivia’s fault, it was probably Aaron’s fault because as Dad Ed Rodgers told the TV cameras that had been following his son Jordan around for months and were now ensconced in the family home: “Fame can change you.”

Just so you know where I’m coming from, I was hoping JoJo picked Luke, the quiet Texan and dignified and caring former veteran who rides horses. But veterans don’t really win these days.

But I say let bygones be bygones and I’m asking that you join me in congratulating JoJo and Jordan and take a moment out of your busy day to pray that Aaron and Jordan fight their way through this minor discord and that Aaron makes it to the wedding.

Now this is probably the point where some of my more educated readers are shaking their heads sadly, imagining how much time I’ve been wasting with JoJo and Jordan when I could have been reading one of those long well-researched articles in The New Yorker but let me tell you I knew a lot sooner than you that The Trumpster would do so well because I had watched him thrive for years before the cameras on The Apprentice. Forsake TV, I say, at your peril. Because if you don’t watch you probably don’t know the America you inhabit.

But to be fair it’s not just the Bachelors and Bachelorettes and the Bachelors in Paradise that aren’t talking about the climate crisis.

It’s just about every American family.

Anyway with all the time you’re not wasting watching Bachelor in Paradise, download the 300 page 2015 State of the Climate Report so too can weep and moan: http://www.ametsoc.net/sotc/StateoftheClimate2015_lowres.pdf.

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STATE OF THE CLIMATE IN 2015
Special Supplement to the Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society
Vol. 97, No. 8, August 2016
http://www.ametsoc.net/sotc/StateoftheClimate2015_lowres.pdf

“JoJo, Jordan, and the Climate Crisis” was first published on August 18, 2016 by The Berkshire Record.