Embrace the Geese

March 8, 2016
By Mickey Friedman

Before the geese, Great Barrington didn’t need public relations. When I got here in seventy-two, there were fewer antiques and more junk. Joneses, a treasure trove of used everything. Bars not bistros. Railroad Street was funky not trendy.

At first it was the occasional odd patch. I mean there have been down parkas around here for a while, what with skiers and snowboarders. Your North Faces and Patagonias.

But this was an official looking shoulder patch: red, blue and white. An insignia for maybe the ski-slope special forces.

One, two, then three. I started seeing them everywhere.

Recently, a snazzy Range Rover parked at the hydrant in front of Fuel. And Dad, Mom, and a couple of kids piled out, all patched and proud in their parkas. Forget the special forces.

A few days later, standing behind an impatient lady at Guido’s, I was able to read her patch. Canada Goose.

Not just any Goose. A Canadian Goose.

So these are no ordinary parkas. Their website says: “All Canada Goose products are field tested by those who live, work and play in the environments they emerged from. From the Constable Parka developed with insights from law enforcement agencies to the Expedition Parka™ worn by almost every scientist at the South Pole, it is safe to say that Canada Goose is truly a product of its environment.”

No matter that our winters are the warmest in recorded history, these savvy shoppers know that you need a Canada Goose on the Upper East Side. So you can walk to Tiffany’s if it’s ever minus twenty-five.

With a collar of real coyote fur. “For Canada Goose, functionality is paramount. Our jackets are built for the coldest places on Earth – places where skin around the face can freeze in an instant. In these environments – when life is on the line – fur is not just the best choice, but the only choice.”

When life is on the line on Madison Avenue, and faux fur just won’t cut it. Because who wants to freeze to death in front of his townhouse.

A special patch Lankford parka goes for $825. The Snow Mantra for $1,275. Your kid’s Grizzly Snowsuit for $495; your toddler’s Lamb Snowsuit for $395.00.

Which brings me back to the brave decision to hire a PR firm in the once-upon-a-time Best Small Town in America. Obviously, the days when Great Barrington could be what it once was, a small, modest, affordable New England town, are done and gone. When a traffic accident was just a traffic accident. When a car hit another car. A pickup hit a car. Maybe once in a blue moon a car hit a bus.

Now, according to our PR consultant, we need, and I mean the greater we, the Facebook Twitter we, we need to know that an accident isn’t really an accident until it’s determined to be an accident. And a public relations specialist to caution our Town Manager not to call it an accident. Or that when the Commonwealth and the DA and a small army of police descend upon a private school, a simple “No Comment” or “Please check with the District Attorney’s office” just won’t do.

A less shrewd commentator might suggest our Town Officials spend a spare hour with a kindly English teacher at Monument Mountain High School for a simple lesson in writing press releases. Which might work in Housatonic where people stay warm with a hundred dollar Carhatt. But that just won’t work here in downtown GB, the veritable heart of Farm-to-Table Land. Just a short walk from our soon to be Boutique Hotel.

Because today it’s all about boutique. And our Canada Goose parka people love their boutique. Like the hefty BMW X something or other boutique sports vehicle with NY plates I saw double-parked on Railroad Street. For those times you just need to go from 0 to 60 in four seconds up Park Avenue because you’re late for a Koch Brothers benefit at the Met.

Nowadays, if our Canada Goose parka people know anything, it’s the value of public relations. Because most probably have their own publicists.

So wisely our Town Fathers and Mothers have reached out to a professional press-releaser. Someone with great credentials from the other end of the Commonwealth.

Because really only someone from out-of-town can have the necessary, delicate feel for local issues. Objective. Probing. A veritable steal at $300 a month.

Now some over-burdened GB homeowners might imagine another use for the money. Like giving it back to the taxpayers.

But that’s just some old fashioned penny-pinching. From a time when locals could afford to live here.

So long live Public Relations.

Look how well it’s worked for Lenox since their NYC PR firm came up with the Lenoxology campaign. Motels galore. Shoppers and more shoppers.

I say celebrate the goose. Embrace the geese.

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“Embrace The Geese” was originally published on March 3, 2016 in the Berkshire Record.