September 6, 2012
By Mickey Friedman
I’ve been sleeping a lot more easily these days. Ever since Lenox banned street performers.
Would You Trust This Mime? - Mimes courtesy of freakingnews.com
I’ve never met Ms. Hagenah, the “living statue” who asked for a permit to statue on the sidewalk. And generally speaking I’m in favor of self-expression. But as Selectman David Roche suggested, this is a slippery slope. You let Ms. Hagenah be a “robot” for tips, and the next thing you know you’re invaded by a small army of mimes.
Some people like mimes. Not me. I think they’re sneaky. And presumptuous. Do you have any idea what a mime is really thinking? I don’t. One minute I’m walking down the street minding my own business, the next minute I’ve got to deal with a white-faced clown struggling to get out of an imaginary box.
It’s embarrassing. You can’t really help them. Because it’s an imaginary box of their own making. And you can’t gracefully elbow a mime out of the way because there are always other people watching. And mimes can always sense weakness. They not going to make it easy for you. A good mime can pretty much guess if you’re going to step to your right or try to go left. Whatever you do, the mime’s in front of you. It’s not fair.
I try not to go anywhere I think there might be a mime. No county fairs. Or carnivals. Certainly not to the circus. I avoid birthday parties for kids under thirty. And it works for most part. I’ve managed not to see a mime in a long time. I know it’s only September and we have a few warm days to come but I’m crossing my fingers.
Flying Mime. Approach With Caution! - Mimes courtesy freakingnews.com
So I for one am grateful Lenox has taken a stand. The Chairman of the Selectboard Kenneth Fowler appreciates the difference between an avoidable and unavoidable mime. It’s one thing to know there’s going to be a mime at the annual Apple Squeeze; it’s quite another thing to run into one on your way to get sushi.
“The random sort of mime on any given day, on any given street, is problematic,” said Fowler.
Your Random Sort of Mime. You Tell Me, What Is She Really Thinking? - Mimes courtesy freakingnews.com
So far here in Great Barrington we’ve only got street musicians and the homeless. Walking the streets is a piece of cake. I’ve been here a long time and have never encountered a “robot.” But as glad as I am that Lenox has taken a stand, I can’t help worrying that the mimes might be heading south. To us.
Which is why I’m hoping I have no trouble getting to the Great Barrington fire station to vote to send my favorite duck farmer to Congress. Today, God-willing, I’ll have the mime-free opportunity to vote for my friend Bill Shein to be my representative in Washington. Not surprisingly, the Berkshire Beagle and the WAMC Radio Doctor have endorsed Rep. Richie Neal. It’s OK to call him “Richie” because his campaign people called me to vote for Richie, even though it says Richard Neal on the ballot.
Richie has raised millions from lobbyists but as both the Beagle and the Doctor remind us, he can bring home the bacon. Which is some kind of compliment in the bizarre world we live in.
Bill Shein: Friend, Duck-Farmer, Representative of the People - Photo Courtesy of Christina Lane
Bill, like most duck farmers I’ve known, is a straight shooter. He’s been telling people the problem is the game itself. That the lobbyists fund Richie not out of the goodness of their heart but because they want something back. They want Richie to give the banks a free ride; they want Richie silent on universal medicare-for-all healthcare; and they want a robust defense budget that eats away the money we need for schools, roads, and job creation. GE wants Richie not to pressure them to clean up all the PCBs and not force them to pay taxes. Most of all they want as much of the hog as they can get and are glad to give Richie a tiny bit of the bacon for an occasional arts project.
In the mythical world of America the Home of the Free and the Land of the Brave, you would have some competent journalists reporting on Richie’s money and what the lobbyists might have bought. Instead, we have the Radio Doctor gushing about what a good guy Richie is, how much he enjoys interviewing him because he’s such a good guy, and how much Richie knows about Ireland. Oh, and of course, how much more bacon he can bring home. Not much of anything about how much money Richie has and where it came from and what that really means.
And, of course, the people who talk about the bacon never mention that it’s our bacon to begin with and that we send out significantly more bacon than we ever get back.
Anyway, please join me and say no to mimes and yes to Bill Shein.